Adjunct Faculty, Write6x6

Pride and Prejudice

Leave a comment
 

After last week’s feel good story, this week is going to focus on the other side of the emotional coin: struggles and frustrations.

As an educator, there is a particular situation which can be extremely difficult and painful to deal with. That is entitlement.

Online course, end of the semester, grades due in 48 hours, inbox flooded with excuses ranging from computer malfunctions to ill pets, and in the digital pile of alibis one has several attachments. Teeth grind, palms clench, eyes close as the message opens:

“I was sick so was not able to hand in the last three essays, I have now completed them. Please remove the 0’s and update my grade. I need to pass this class to graduate.”

There are only a few options available in terms of response, and though limited, the repercussions are numerous.

If blessed with a deity-like ability to forgive, grade the papers, update the scores, and accept that by doing so, both syllabus policy and self respect are thrown out the window.

OR

Stand firm, say no, and accept that by doing so, both inbox and patience will be pushed to their limit by messages of vitriol and accusation.

As an educator, the reality is there is only one choice that maintains the integrity that is expected of the position.

Say no.

By doing so it will feel like the other tenets of education (kindness, understanding, and a desire to see every student succeed) are forced to the side like sediment from a river.

I promise they are not.

In education, scenarios like this will arise. They will be difficult, and that gnawing guilt those hate-filled messages leave is just a shadow on a wall, a fictional monster created by the fingers of a student who just learned some of the most important lessons of life.

Anything worthwhile must be earned, not given.

To be successful requires personal responsibility.

The earlier these lessons are taught, the easier they are to absorb. Have faith that once learned, the inevitable outcome is a wiser, better individual. That is what education is all about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Write6x6

Reprogramming the Video Game of Life

4 Comments
 
This week’s topic is about dealing with difficult situations. Here are my thoughts.
1. Breathe.
2. Perspective. It’s just a giant video game and it can end any time you choose to switch off or reprogram the game.
We all have the ability to reprogram the video game of life.
I often hear people saying that we are living in trying times and that the world has gone crazy. My dad, who turns 88 this year, constantly reminds me that nothing has really changed. He has lived through World War II and all of the craziness of the 20th Century.  Dad insists that the only thing that has changed is that we are getting QUICKER access to MORE news and EVERYONE’S opinion.
I hear things like “people nowadays are more divided.” What does that mean? Is that someone’s opinion after spending an hour reading commentary on a social media post?  Maybe people have always had differing opinions?
I was driving home in the rain on Tuesday night after my evening class, thinking that I was really tired of the rain. It had been raining for most of the day. It was cold and damp and made for dangerous driving conditions. Everyone I spoke with on Tuesday was ready for the rain to stop.  I could easily come to the conclusion that “people are really affected by the weather these days.” Maybe people have always been affected by the weather?
When it comes to difficult situations, we have many choices in how we react. We do not have to react with the masses.  We can make up our own mind about what is going on in the video game of life.
If we allow a situation to make us angry to the core, that is a choice. We could also choose to ignore it, but that may not help deal with the problem. I believe it is optimal to examine the problem from all sides, removing bias and ego, and seek to learn all perspectives. Take a seat at the proverbial table and simply listen for a while. No judgement.
Getting emotionally upset about a difficult situation leads to a release of hormones that are not kind to the body over the long haul. Cortisol, for one, helps the body lay down fat cells. I do not want any additional assistance with accumulation of a spare tire!
I also do not need a constant supply of adrenaline. Let’s save the adrenal glands for the saber-tooth tiger events. Constant stress wreaks havoc on the brain, seriously affecting cognition and memory.
Armed with this health knowledge, I CHOOSE not to get emotionally involved in difficult situations. I do not let matters of the mind wreak havoc on my body.  Instead, I seek to offer compassion to others who may be suffering due to the same problem. If you listen and allow people to talk, you can help break down barriers and lighten the load for everyone.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could make a personal observation that “everyone seems to be united, compassionate and caring these days.”  Reprogram your video game of life so that you get the best results for all players.
Difficult situations seem less difficult when viewed through the rose colored lens.
That’s how I choose to see it.
Write6x6

New Faculty Jitters

Leave a comment
 

It is hard being the “new kid.” I had forgotten what it was like to fear sharing my thoughts with other and this has led me to re-learning a lesson about being myself.

For the last 4 years, I had been apart of graduate school cohort. All the members of this cohort started the program at the same time. We had the opportunity to grow and develop together. We quickly relied on each other as a way to survive in our graduate program. In this cohort, I was able to speak my mind and have very little fear of offending someone or feeling like my opinion was not valued.

Starting at GCC this last semester was exciting and nerve-racking since I would be the “new kid” in the department. Upon joining the department, I found that everyone was nice and willing to assist me if I had a problem with students or needed help with resources. I automatically felt relaxed and welcomed. But I still did not feel comfortable sharing my thoughts with others for fear of being ostracized. The problem with being the “new kid” is wanting to fit in.

I wanted to feel like a member of this new department. However, I started to feel disconnected and moody since I had been keeping my thoughts to myself.  I had to tell myself that I am still allowed to have an opinion even if the rest of my department does not agree.

So for the last three weeks, I have been sharing my thoughts and opinions with others in my department. I do not believe that I have offended anyone and I am feeling more like a contributing member of my new community.

This first year at GCC has reminded me that I like who I am and my thoughts matter. Regardless of wanting to fit in, I need to share my thoughts in order to be a valuable member in my department.

Write6x6

Dreams

Leave a comment
 

Last week, I dreamt of getting ahead on my grading. I dreamt of Spring Break coming. I dreamt of sleeping a little extra on the weekend. I dreamt of the conference I am going to next week and did a bunch of mental organizing to begin to get ready. And then what I didn’t imagine happening happened:

What happened instead is I got sick. I came down with a sinus infection that left me feeling like an anvil had replaced my brain. The last sinus infection I had had a few years ago felt, instead, like an athlete wearing cleats was standing on my face. Because I didn’t immediately recognize the anvil symptom, having remembered only cleats in my face, it took me five days to realize I needed medicine. I thought I only had a cold. Needless to say, recovery has been slow. Instead of catching up on my grading, I’m falling behind. Instead of sleeping, I’m coughing and caught in that weird place you go when you try to sleep but you’re sick and on meds — that place of anxiety and strangeness that isn’t everyday life but also isn’t really a dream world.

I didn’t just fall behind in grading. I fell behind in my blogging. I fell behind in my house-cleaning. I simply fell behind. I’m still behind.

What I have mostly found myself doing this unexpected time, and it’s been over a year since I’ve not felt well, is letting myself just be sick. I’ve made two pots of homemade soup. I bought extra tissues. I canceled classes. And when I let myself feel guilty and tried to go back early this past Tuesday, I regressed and missed two more work days here at the end of the week. So then I went back to letting myself not feel well.

During this time of going through life with an anvil in my head, oddly enough, I have mostly been thinking about the imagination. How powerful it is! Time and again, it saves us. It helps us understand. It helps us to be understood. When the Tele-doctor asks over the phone, “What are your symptoms?” I can say, “There’s an anvil in my head.” And we both understand what I mean, and he knows I need antibiotics. I have been thinking about how imagination allows a sick person to imagine feeling better. To imagine sun on a cloudy day. To imagine a less insane world. To recall the woods and a peaceful retreat I had over winter break while right now living only yards off of busy Bell Road. This type of imagining, at least for me, gives way to hope. When I hope, I can feel better. When I hope, I can heal. When I hope, I can dream again and again fantasize about getting ahead on my grading.

This time of not feeling well has unexpectedly given me the gift of reflection. It slowed me down smack dab in the middle of a galloping semester so I could have some moments of quiet and gratitude. Rather than concentrating on how behind I am, I am, instead, dwelling in gratitude. It’s seems a strange place to be with an anvil in my head, but here I am.

Administration

Dreams Are Never Lost

Leave a comment
 

A glass desk, mahogany shelves in an office working with adolescents helping them find ways to improve their thinking and manage their emotions. I was one of the few who never changed majors and found my pathway or purpose. I followed, what I thought was my dream to be a psychologist. After several degrees, a job working in a residential mental health facility with juveniles in Colorado, and the edifying gratitude knowing that I had impacted the lives of teens who everyone else thought didn’t stand a chance in the world, I was living my dream!  I was making a difference.

Fast forward a few years, a move back to Illinois to be with family changed my pathway. All of those stories about my clients in Colorado became memories of my past. Where did the dream go?  Why did I let it go? In the desire of needing employment, my youngest sister who attended the local community college told me that maybe I should go be a teacher. Why not? I could teach Psychology. So, I applied and the department chair took a chance on me- a stranger to the classroom as a teacher. I thought to myself: I loved school, I did great. I can be a teacher.

My first day of class in the community college as an adjunct faculty- a disaster. Every expectation I had of myself as a student was reflected in my syllabus that was clearly not aligned to what my students needed. It was that moment, I realized… I could influence these students to become psychology majors, I could be that teacher they remember who changed their pathway in life, who helped them fulfill their dreams. It wasn’t about just doing APA style and taking final comprehensive exams, but about helping my students learn how psychology can make them a better mother, a better employee, a better person. But, what about my own dream?  It was my experiences in the community college classroom that made me never look back at those stories from Colorado as a loss of what could never be. My experiences in the classroom and working with students drove me to become even more passionate about influencing others.

Throughout the last 17 years, I thought I lost my dream. The time to be a psychologist was over and the time to be a faculty member and leader in a community college emerged. I never dreamed of being a faculty and I never dreamed of helping lead a community college. It was stepping into the classroom as faculty that reshaped my dream- being a psychologist was an outcome of my dream; being a faculty member was an outcome of my dream. They share in common a sense of influence and compassion to give back. So, my dream- the one that I am living now is the continued opportunity to shape student’s minds, influence their success and foster an environment that makes a difference! In essence, the dream has never changed!

Arizona, higher education

A Series on Higher Education and Democracy: Newt and ALEC

Leave a comment
 

After a series of significant events in my county’s community college district, I’ve decided to write a series of short posts about Higher Education and Democracy for the Write 6X6 project on my campus.

If you want to hear something that might make you feel like you were just punched in the gut, take a listen to Newt Gingrich with his address at ALEC  Fiscal Responsibility in Higher Education Academy in October 2017. You need to know what people are thinking and where they are headed.

Let me know what you think!

Write6x6

Difficult Situations: Black Panther Edition (Non-Spoiler)

Leave a comment
 

 

Wakanda Forever
Me doing the Wakandan greeting. Wakanda Forever!

 

My husband and I have seen Black Panther twice. It was great and I walked away with many takeaways. Here was one of my takeaways:

When faced with difficult situations it is imperative that you do not face them on your own, but that you have people that you trust surrounding you, supporting you, and backing you up when you need it most.

T’Challa, the Black Panther, faced several problems throughout the movie, but one specific problem almost cost him everything. One of the things I noticed about the movie was that T’Challa had a circle of support when he faced the problems. There was his general/second in command Okoye, the love of his life Nakia, his sister Shuri, his keeper of traditions Zuri, and the list goes on and on and on. Ultimately, it was the efforts of the collective few that helped T’Challa face adversity in extremely dark times. T’Challa’s father encouraged his son to surround himself with great people, and you clearly saw the reason why.

When you are faced with a difficult situation rally your circle of support together for the support that you need. Facing adversity on your own can be exhausting and draining and lonely. I know, because I have chosen that route in the past. When I went through chemotherapy and radiation for non-hodgkin’s lymphoma in 2008, I only let a couple of people in. I felt my experience was my experience and that it was private and I didn’t want to let people in because I didn’t want them to worry. I wanted to protect others from the experience. I didn’t share the details of that experience with others until 2015 at the Ignite GCC event.

I have learned from that experience. Facing difficult situations requires strength from the self, but also the support of others. I pull strength from the self by focusing on optimism, positivity, spirituality, and a belief that everything will eventually work itself out. The strength I pull from others comes from my circle of support which includes the love of my life, mentors, colleagues, and friends. My circle includes people I trust, who support me, and have backed me up when I needed it most.

My question to you is who is your circle of support? When times are tough and uncertain and dark, who do you turn to? How do you get back up when life has punched you in the face and has left you on the ground watching and waiting to see if you dare to get back up again? Rally together a circle of support to help to rise after the fall. The encouragement you receive from your circle can inspire you, motivate you, reinvigorate you, and challenge you to keep moving forward.

T’Challa is a great hero. He has integrity and he represents all that is good in the world and the leader that many of us aspire to be. He also had a circle of support that really contributed to how he was able to face difficult situations. I encourage you to form your circle of support so that you can get through your difficult situation or be ready when the situation presents itself at your door.

Write6x6

Baby Bunnies, Butterflies & Rainbows

2 Comments
 

This is how I deal with difficult situations…

Just kidding!

I actually have a very simple approach for dealing with difficult situations; I ask myself “If this is the worst thing that happens to me today, how bad is my day going to be?”  Essentially I am putting the ‘difficult situation’ into perspective of the grand-scheme of things…things being life.

The approach works well for simple-difficult situations such as being late to a meeting, and for more complex-difficult situations like disagreeing with a colleague.   When I realize that a situation is not as difficult as I might have originally thought, I am more open to new ideas for problem solving, and I have a more positive attitude as well.

I teach a slightly modified version of this approach to students when I teach the Health and Stress chapter in Psychology 101.  I encourage students to rank their difficult situations/stressors on a scale of 1-10: one being ‘no big deal’ and ten being the ‘absolute worst thing that could ever happen in the world.’  Many students have testified that learning to evaluate and to put difficult situations/stressors into perspective is one of the most valuable lessons they learned during the semester.

Trust me, I know everyday in life is not going to be full of baby bunnies, butterflies and rainbows; life throws curve-balls.  However by keeping life events in perspective of the overall impact that event has on the quality of life keeps many difficult situations from being difficult at all.

Write6x6

What is Your Favorite Book?

7 Comments
 

Recently a student asked me the question that English teachers get asked a lot–I imagine they do anyway.  “What is your favorite book?”

Oh no. This should be such an easy question, and the person asking the question figures he/she will get a really good book since clearly this English teacher reads voraciously and can offer up a good read. This thinking seems logical.  This thinking seems smart. It’s an amazing short cut to a great book. But all I can think is oh no. Clearly I need a go-to that I can just casually throw out like it really is the best of the best and my favorite.

Instead of an easy answer though, I have to spend what feels like eternity in my mind sorting through the books I have read, putting them into categories, and deciding which rise to the top of all categories. What is the criteria for my favorite book? How do all of these books stack up to that judging?

Don’t get me wrong. I like this question. I like it for the torture it puts me through. It’s an impossible question. I can’t choose one. If I’m lucky, I can give a list of top ten.

You’re all really asking for my top ten list, right?

But even then, books are favorites for their overall goodness, for the time and place I read them, for the place I was in life. Books come in and out of my list of top ten, so it’s not even a permanent list. Once and for all, I’m going to try and answer this question with my top ten list. These are, however, not in any particular order. I’m just not up for that mental task right now. But the books all moved me for varying and personal reasons. They all gave me a “book hangover,” the intellectual and emotional equivalent of the bodily aches caused by too much booze.

So here they are. What is your favorite book?

GCC, GCC Students

If you see something nice, say something nice…

1 Comment
 

 

Adding small doses of daily kindness to GCC and the world in general is a dream of mine. I’d like to offer some explicit, easy, painless examples of how we can all increase kindness on a daily basis. Imagine how a collective effort of small actions could impact our lives. Gratitude and kindness are powerful ideas. See if you can incorporate one of the following suggestions into your super-busy daily schedule and notice the win-win feeling.

  1. While walking on campus, make a daily effort to notice on a pleasant sight. Examples: “Wow, that display in the student union is amazing.” Or “The roses are beautiful.” Usually, we might just think this thought and forget it. Take it a step further and send a quick email to recognize someone’s hard work. Email the department or individual responsible. The key is to be mindful and have an intention to recognize the positive.
  2. Acknowledge the success of others. Congratulate a faculty member or student who has succeed. Acknowledgments don’t have to be mushy compliments. Just recognizing the effort or outcome is enough.
  3. Even a semi-specific question to spark a quick dialogue conveys kindness and caring. Ask someone while you’re waiting in line for coffee or lunch “So how’s your semester going?” You might be surprised at the amount of enthusiasm that is returned to your inquiry.

Try to find opportunities to be kind to yourself and others. It’s easy to walk around campus on auto-pilot. Experience the present moment. See if you notice anything that brings a split second of joy.

 

Get Your Kicks on Write 6×6