All posts by Mark Goldman

Mark Goldman’s extremely eclectic life includes (in no particular order) being an actor, dancer, director, stage manager, magician, psychodrama therapist, chef at a small New York City restaurant/bar and a mediator! He has taught business mediation for the Maricopa County courts in Arizona, and divorce mediation at University of Phoenix. Currently, Mark’s full time focus is as a professional storyteller. He also consults with businesses and organizations on communicating through story. He teaches Storytelling at Glendale Community College, conducts workshops on storytelling, and recently published his first book, Storytelling Tips: Creating, Crafting and Telling Stories.

The Dance General – A Story of Change

Here’s a story about “change” on many different levels.

Most of my students take my Art of Storytelling class because it is required, and they believe it will be the easiest of the required electives they have from which to choose. They usually come into class “suspicious” of the teacher. Who are they? What do they know? And unconsciously, “will I be able to relate to this teacher?”

In the first class of the semester, I begin by going around the room and asking each student to tell us “why” they are taking this class, aside from the fact that it is “required”. Most of them end up saying “because it is required”, and then I have to pull more out of them.

Then, I tell them about myself…
Here, I could list all of the things I have done, all of my accomplishments, degrees and accolades. I could also tell them, “I am the kind of person who…” and list all of my qualities.

Since I teach storytelling, I try to “teach” the topic by actually telling stories. (The video is a five-minute video recorded live at the Arizona Republic Live Storytelling – 9/15/2011)

Afterwards, I ask them what they know about me now, and do they think they will remember these things? My story “shows” them who I was, how and why I changed, and who I am today. It’s a more compelling way for me to introduce myself to them… as a teacher AND a person. And self-deprecating, humorous stories most always show people that you are “human” and have the ability to laugh at yourself.

This usually changes the way they think about the teacher who is leading the class…and the class itself.

 

Appreciations – Driven Home by a Sixth Grader

To the logical, pragmatic, no-nonsense, Type-A personality that I am, the concept of appreciations in storytelling (or teaching) was initially lost on me. It felt like a “nicey-nicey-fluff-give-them-positive-first-but-doesn’t-help-teach-them-or-move-them-to-change” process. Why not just tell them what they need to change? Enough of the touchy-feely stuff. Give them meat to chew on.

My first formal storytelling teacher kept giving people appreciations in class, no suggestions or critiques, just appreciations. And he really meant it too. It wasn’t just lip service. I thought this was OK for the first few weeks of class, but when was he going to get to “telling people how they need to change and improve”? As the weeks went on, I began to try to follow his lead. I was quite surprised to find that it was easy to find something to appreciate about every telling.

Then I attended a workshop with long-time teller and storytelling coach. He spoke of how his father gave him constant praise, even for the smallest things, from birth, and throughout his life. It made me think of my own father who could pick out the one mistake I made and focus on that negative aspect of my effort. It made me think about my eighth-grade teacher who embarrassed me in front of the whole class with his condemning critique of a book report I had written. It made me think of how I critique both others, and myself.

A small part of me, the therapist and a mediator, began to understand appreciations, at least on a psychological level. Reinforcing positive behavior helps people repeat that positive behavior. I began to make a change. I tried to “give praise” wherever I could. I was conscious of really looking for the positive aspects of what I saw, and letting people know what I appreciated about what they had done.

Then I met Anthony. Anthony was a cherub-faced sixth grader at a school I visited to tell stories and talk about storytelling. The students had already done some storytelling and the teacher wanted the class to demonstrate to me what they had learned. Anthony eagerly raised his hand and volunteered to be the first to tell his story.

He stood before the class and began. He was a little nervous, but told a good story. Oh, he paced back and forth and didn’t always face forward and look at his audience. And as he was telling, it hit me like a ton of bricks: Anthony was me!

Yes, I did see myself in that eleven year-old boy; eager, creative, excited, longing for acknowledgment and praise. I thought, how can I say anything negative about his telling? What good would that accomplish? I felt that even one tiny “constructive suggestion” might bruise his young ego and only send him into a labyrinth of self-doubt. And then the second wave came over me. Are our adult egos any less fragile than Anthony’s? I think not.

It was then that I began to understand appreciations on an emotional level. There have been adult students and colleagues who have said, “Just tell me the bad things.” I, myself have even said that in the past. And yet, behind the bravado that purports to be strong and only wants a critique, stands a delicate ego, deeply longing for praise and acceptance. And it is the praise and acceptance that supports their growth and learning.

So the next time that you hear someone tell a story, have a student give an answer, have a student try, I hope you see Anthony…
and then, perhaps, yourself… and then give an appreciation.

 

Believe You Can Float!

As a Storyteller, I go to as many workshops and conferences as I am able. Learning more about my craft is an ongoing quest. Recently, I had the opportunity to attend an all-day workshop with international Storyteller and Mime, Antonio Rocha (pronounced “hosha”), originally from Brazil. Antonio is an incredible performer. I swear that I have seen him “float”!

At the beginning of the workshop, Antonio asked each participant to voice what they hoped to get out of the day. In addition to some specifics, I said, “Oh yeah, and I want to learn how to float!” Antonio’s response set the tone for the whole day: “The first step is to believe you can float!”

There were many things that I learned and gleaned from the workshop, but one of the most important, and most revealing was the actual “coaching” that several people got from Antonio. As each person told their story, I had my own ideas about how they were doing, and what might be helpful. It was quite amazing when Antonio’s suggestions affirmed my own thoughts. To be “in sync” with a master that I admire confirmed for me that I was “on the right track” with my own assessments.

Then came my turn to be coached by Antonio. Try as I did to affect what I had already learned from the workshop, I was not completely successful. Antonio was gentle and affirming in his suggestions for me, “You can do this. Believe you can!” It was in the “doing” and putting myself out there that I learned the most.

My advice to all who wish to improve themselves, in whatever endeavor: study, learn from the masters, get coaching from a trusted and admired mentor/colleague.

The first step is to believe you can!

 

Success Is Not a Grade

My class is The Art of Storytelling. My objective for the course is:

Students will recognize the power of storytelling, and will become aware of their own potential for using storytelling as a tool for communication.

I try to teach them both the mechanics and the art of how and why to tell stories.

Don’t just tell someone a “list” of all your feelings, but but share them…  by telling a story. Share your joy of wonder and discovery, and allow those around you to experience it too… by telling a story. Inspire someone, or even yourself… by telling a story.

Some students come to me every other class and want to know why they lost two points. They want those two points so badly. They believe those two points can make or break them.

And then, there are others who do the work and accept the fact that they may have missed a question here or there. Points are not on their radar, learning and understanding are. At the end of the semester, one such student wrote:

I would like to share a story with you! I needed to find a humanities class and as I was scrolling down my computer screen I found one, but it involved literature and poetry. Well, I am not into poetry at all. The word literature translates “you will be writing long, intense essays”. So I did what any student would do, I kept scrolling down…until I found “The Art of Storytelling”. I honestly laughed a bit and thought, what could I possibly learn from a storytelling class and why is it considered and art? Now, I was curious. And that curiosity caused me to enroll.

After the first day of class, I changed my outlook on storytelling. Each class became more interesting and I could not wait to hear more stories. As the semester went on, I learned the answers to my questions. I realized the importance of stories and how it can be used in many aspects of life. Storytelling is truly an art because the storyteller is an artist who crafts their story to make it more interesting, exciting, and appealing to their audience.

Storytelling has given me a little more confidence and passion, not only in class but to my personal life as well. I know that when I finally become a nurse I will be sharing stories with my patients, not only to comfort them, but to connect with them. I am a bit sad that this class has come to an end because it was such an interesting, exciting, and uplifting semester.

I have no doubt, that the one who wrote that will not only be telling great stories, but will succeed in all her endeavors!

Success is not a grade, either for the student, OR the teacher. Success for me is, “Did I do the best at my job? Did I possibly make a difference in one or two lives?” The paragraph below from one gal was the greatest gift I could have at the end of the course.

Storytelling and this class have affected my life in a positive way. This past week I used what I had learned in this course in one job interview that I had. They asked me to tell them about myself and instead of listing all of the things I have done, I decided to tell them a little story about myself. The best part is not only that I exercised storytelling outside of class (without being a class assignment) and that I was hired. I start next week!

 

An Unexpected Turn Of Events

An Unexpected Turn Of Events
Prompts An Unexpected Change In The Way I Will Teach.

Over the six semesters I have been teaching the Art of Storytelling, I have had three classes with deaf students. I sign a little, but thankfully the college provided two interpreters for each class. They were all wonderful as they interpreted for the deaf students, and also voiced for them when they performed a story.

So it was only natural that when I got a case of laryngitis that I thought, “No problem, I will just get an interpreter to come in and ‘voice’ for me.” I E-mailed the disabilities department and asked how much lead time they needed. Unfortunately, the supervisor wrote back that they only provided interpreters for the students, and I would have to contact HR. So I did.

The HR Department wrote back that laryngitis does not comply with the definition of an ADA disability and that if I were sick, I needed to contact my department head and arrange for a sub. I replied that I was disappointed and that, “I’m not ill. I don’t need a sub, just a voice.”

Step two: time to get creative!

I wondered what I could do. I have a small P.A. system and tested it out. I whispered into the mike, and it seemed that the amplification would work.

Now the lesson plan… Continue reading An Unexpected Turn Of Events